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Writing - Wonder and Dream

Ask a couple of peers to point to what's important in your first draft and to ask questions about what seems incomplete or confusing

Add comments to your peers’ Docs and share your writing with them. Chat with your classmates if they are working at the same time. Begin revising your post by adding, subtracting, rearranging, and replacing text. Use Guides for Structured Essays.

Consider the following options when you revise your work.

It may seem strange at first to generate a free flow of writing from freewriting, loops or guidelines (in the previous task)...

... and then be told in this task to use a very structured guide, some of which almost seem like fill-in-the-blank exercises.

You need to find your own way between these two extremes. Try both, and you'll end up with a mess, but from this mess you can begin to create your own argument.

Try one of these!

Choose a title in the list below to find detailed scaffolds that make explicit what is expected in many different types of discussion posts and comments on Youth Voices. Once you've internalized these guides, we encourage you to mix and match different paragraphs, and to go beyond the use of a guide as well.


When you have finished your second or third drafts by getting feedback from your peers and by using one of the guides listed above, copy this draft from your Google Doc and paste it into a comment here (on this P2PU task), then click Yes, I'm done .

Task Discussion

  • JohnathanR said:

    on March 22, 2013, 12:05 p.m.
  • Miguel said:

    on March 7, 2013, 10:12 a.m.
  • Aaron said:

    on Feb. 1, 2013, 10:12 a.m.
  • Monisha Nelson said:

    on Oct. 4, 2012, 1:51 p.m.
  • Chante said:

    How can I become self-disciplined?

    Self-discipline=> The act of disciplining or power to discipline one's own feelings, desires, etc., especially with the intention of improving oneself
    self-disciplined  adj

    Everyday I find myself wondering how would my life change if I was self-disciplined.
    I’m talking body discipline, no procrastination, organization. Wouldn't life be much easier? I know nobody is perfect, but is it a bad thing to try to be? For the past three months I’ve been trying to reinvent my brain, and if I can’t get it to be perfect I can at least try to get it to be strictly disciplined.Then I will fully feel like I achieved my true self in life. This may be hard work at first, but once I get myself use to this new way of living I think it should come easy to me.

    Body discipline is a step towards perfection.

    Body=>a. The entire material or physical structure of an organism, especially of a human or animal.
    b. The physical part of a person.
    c. A corpse or carcass.

    Discipline=> Training expected to produce a specific character or pattern of behavior, especially training that produces moral or mental improvement.
    2. Controlled behavior resulting from disciplinary training; self-control.

    All these questions pop inside my head how can I start, how should I start, what should I do, How can I do it? I think my life will be much easier to manage, and handle with self discipline... I will always spend the same amount of time on a task throughout my day. I will never be late which would cut my anxiety, because I find myself having anxiety attacks when I feel like I’m running late.. Which I think is the worst feeling in the world. I feel incomplete without this accomplishment in my life. I already pushed myself towards becoming a good mom, and still making a little time for myself, but no matter what you do you still feel like you could do more.. There is never a limit on how much of a good mom you could be and there is so much going on in my life that I would never want to forget to check on what’s going on in my son's life, and being there for him. This is another reason why I think body discipline would be a good thing for me to do . It will not only benefit me but it will benefit my so as well which is another big plus for me.. With self discipline in my life ,my life will never spiral out of control...I will be getting everything I need to be done facing reality with open arms, and still have time to be the the best mom, and make time for my fantasies..  The hardest part for me to accomplish my goal of self- discipline is to start.... Because once you find a start you can just keep going, but the question is how should I start?

    How should I start?

    Everything needs a beginning and I finally think I found mine!! I decided to first plan out all my time on a time management planner I found online, and see what I spend my time doing. This way I can see where I spend most my time, I can also find ways to adjust the things that can be adjusted so I won’t be in a rush or be late. Then I can fit things into my schedule that I really want to do, but feel like I don’t have time to do it. After that I can test it out and see how it works for me,and if it doesn’t work I will just keep adjusting until I find one that works out perfectly. Then i can have time for me, time for my son, school time, and work time. I believe we could do anything we want to do we just have to fit it into our schedule and make time for it. But honestly who makes time to make a schedule? We just make plans and keep moving, and these are the reasons I think people are so stressed.

    What if life could be stress free, fustratiotion free, less procrastinating and more doing.
    Get self disciplined!!!!

    on Sept. 11, 2012, 10:43 a.m.
  • Monisha Nelson said:


    I wrote comments on aziza paper about fashion.

    on Sept. 10, 2012, 10:11 a.m.