Formulating Arguments in Areas of Interest - ELA - Level 1

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Writing - Wonder and Dream


Ask a couple of peers to point to what's important in your first draft and to ask questions about what seems incomplete or confusing.

Add comments to your peers’ Docs and share your writing with them. Chat with your classmates if they are working at the same time. Begin revising your post by adding, subtracting, rearranging, and replacing text. Use Guides for Structured Essays.

Consider the following options when you revise your work.

It may seem strange at first to generate a free flow of writing from freewriting, loops or guidelines (in the previous task)...

... and then be told in this task to use a very structured guide, some of which almost seem like fill-in-the-blank exercises.

You need to find your own way between these two extremes. Try both, and you'll end up with a mess, but from this mess you can begin to create your own argument.

Try one of these!

Choose a title in the list below to find detailed scaffolds that make explicit what is expected in many different types of discussion posts and comments on Youth Voices. Once you've internalized these guides, we encourage you to mix and match different paragraphs, and to go beyond the use of a guide as well.

 

When you have finished your second or third drafts by getting feedback from your peers and by using one of the guides listed above, copy this draft from your Google Doc and paste it into a comment here (on this P2PU task), then click Yes, I'm done .

Task Discussion


  • Evelyn S said:

    https://docs.google.com/document/d/1TgO0ZpuV272YxxV_8361zOfQmS8Ipy8wMV3dXWo55To/edit

    on Sept. 28, 2012, 1:26 p.m.

  • karina said:

     Things that i've been interested in more more about my topic “Money for survival” are what are the reasons why we owe so much money to other countries? I remember mentioning it before but didn't really get to do much research on it at the time because i was so busy researching my main topic. But it sort of has to do with my topic so thats why i want to know more about. It all connects together somehow. From what i know myself the United States owes a lot of countries trillions of dollars. Your probably like thats a lot of money how on earth will they make these type of payments to these countries when our state needs money everyday.


     One thing that i know about money for survival is that people go through this problem everyday. Now i've studied my share about my topic money and it seems like everyone is concerned about this topic being that money is being used every single day of our lives. I believe that a lot of people stress over this topic because i've been noticing everyday someone is saying “ i need money” or what can i do to get it. i hear about this every day, its just non stop.

     Money for survival was very important in the past, great depression took place because we didn't have enough money for people. Violence occurred, riots broke out, and it was really bad. So imagine if there was one to occur? Would it be worst than the last one? I personally think it would be way worse than the last one because the budgets today went up ever since the past. So people would act up and they wouldn't know what to do. Most americans are struggling to keep up with their mortgages and car notes nowadays.

     Being that i did my research and have a lot of background information on my topic i chose to do some research on the topic and i came across an article called “Activist Journey To Life”. This article provided a lot of information on money for survival. Some facts from the article that it said was “ To be fair to money, it does not have a will of its own- it is simply a tool used by us.”  meaning that we can control our money. Its just really up to us and basically we don't have a choice. Thats just the only source of material we have to do to get through life.

     In another article i read was called “Survival Manual” and the quote that stood out to me was  “ its says americans running annual trillion dollar deficits with no end in sight. The only solution the government has come up with is to borrow and print more money at an unsustainable pace.” and i agree with this quote because that is really basically the only thing we can do at the moment. We have to just print out as much money we can to do what we have to do. Another quote that stood out was “Since most americans are living from paycheck to paycheck it may be necessary to go and find a second job or part time job.” and i believe that this is true because nowadays people need more money than what they already got. Everyday people lose their jobs so getting a second one just in case wouldn't be a bad idea. Thats why we need to stick to school nowadays to succeed and get a better pay.

     All of this research makes me think deep down inside that we might end up going into a depression because we haven't even start making payments yet. Once we start doing that we will have some type of relief and people wouldn't think about it as much. When people start becoming serious about this and start doing what they suppose to do their wouldn't be that much problems.

    http://personal.crocodoc.com/NSQ5wI9     (Activist Journey to Life)

    http://personal.crocodoc.com/k3jHdVL     (Survival Manual)
     

    on Sept. 25, 2012, 11:38 a.m.

    ashleynicole said:

    Dear Karina 

    i agree with you our country is just a hot mess there is nothing right and they can hardly fix anything they have going on now so how would they be able to pay anybody back.. 

    on Oct. 10, 2012, 12:22 p.m. in reply to karina

  • ashleynicole said:

          Something that I have been interested in learning more about has been Why do people feel the need to use firearms? I remember my mother was talking about it a couple of weeks ago, but i was in rush and didn’t want to listen to what she was saying. Lately, the issue has caught my eye again. I know that many people feel that many people are tired of hearing gunshots or finding out their love one was gunned down. People want to try to put a stop to the gun violence in our community but where do we start first. From what I have heard, It’s mainly black and hispanic people using firearms and more younger aged people are being killed due to the shootings For example, I heard that a 19 year old boy named kenneth archbold was gunned down early in the morning in harlem ny, It was ganged related and he also had a family a little baby girl on the way Now that's just what I've heard, it may or may not be true.


         One thing that I know for sure about Gun Violence is that it’s a big terror in our community and it needs to be stopped our children are being killed best friends brothers and sisters. Now, I've studied my share of Gun Violence, for example: U.S. is trying to crack down on it but i don’t think there really working hard enough they need to band the sales of firearms to anymore. and Personally, It's funny to me how they worry about everything else but they still let people buy them with little restrictions then they have the cops thats shooting innocent people. So who can we really look to for help in where to start with stopping it?


        Gun Violence was not as bad as it is not in the past couple of years it has gone up about 20%. Gun Violence can range from different things such as homicides the number on in firearm deaths and suicide and robbery and assault. Gun Violence cost the US 100 billion dollars annually. Emergency medical care is a major contributor,  Being that I didn't have a lot of background information on Gun Violence, I chose to do some research on the topic. As I searched for blogs and news articles on Google, I came across this one article: Children, youth, and gun violence http://www.princeton.edu/futureofchildren/publications/docs/12_02_ExecSummary.pdf This article provided a lot of information and opinions on Gun Violence.


           Some people felt that Gun Violence is something that needs to be stop and banded from our streets. ‘’The lethality of guns, as well as their easy accessibility to young people, are key reasons why firearms are
    the second leading cause of death among young
    people ages 10 to 19.’’
    This statement didn't really surprise me all that much, but it did make me feel upset and sad at the same time because kids so young should not have to die at a young age. All of this makes me think that when will it stop how many more families will have to suffer and how many more lives will end over Gun Violence. It has to stop one day.

    on Sept. 20, 2012, 1:08 p.m.